ah gong

went to tan tock seng hospital today to visit my ah gong,my father told me that he is having problem with his intestine and he just undergo two operation.It seems that he is suffering from cancer too but that what my father told me,hope it is not as serious as he said ba.I am not really close with my ah gong.To be frank,the only time i see my ah gong is during new year,when we have out reunion dinner.I think we have only speak like no more than 20 word,pathetic huh i guess.I was shocked when i and my brother went into the ward that my ah gong was in,so many tubes was inserted on him.I guess him must be feeling really uncomfortable,he also have his stomach open out and tube inserted to help him release his bowel.upon sawing his face,i then realise how old he was like,he look so tired,he could hardly talk.I speak with him for a few sentence only but it was the longest conversation i had with him for the near 18 year i have live,and he he told me that he want to recover soon and go back to work and give me and brother $200.I felt so touched,because he was lying on his bed so sick but he was still thinking of working to give me money to spend,he also said something like my father because he dun earn much and he wish he could help us. I felt so helpless and abit angry at the same time.i was helpless because i wished i could do something that can make him feel better,angry because i was angry about my father attitude toward his life,he was always so sloppy and lazy,never ever thought of finding a stable job to earn money to support the family,he is so inresponsible.making his own father,which is my ah gong to worry for him when he is already so old???It really meke me feel so mad.Anyway i hope my ah gong will recover fully i can have more time to know more about him.haiss i hope it is not too late for me to realise that:(

tired

its has been so long since i updated my blog,too busy huh.anyway its already the month may for 2011,time really flies.so much thing had changed for me.new course new module to learn so tiring,still gonna go work tmr haiss hope i can tahan dun wanna give up so soon.there is so much project and homework to do tho.sometimes i really wonder why am i working so hard,what's the point???i really miss my old coursemate at asm but the choice to leave asm was made by me,i guess it up to me to open up myself and make new friend.life is about gain some lose some i guess.was really excited when roy say that he is planning to organise a trip to vietnam for community work!!!really hopes that the trip can work out,cause i have been dreaming to do something so meaningful like this!!!btw hope i can work out my schedule for me to go for my cca,works really take up much of my time,but i need the $$$$.but wait,actually even if i recieve my pay,i also wun have time to spend it cause i am so busy to go enjoy life,zzzz.hope to find time to go overseas with fren and learn some music instrument,guitar maybe???but no money wat to do???so stressed up now.studies,fren,dreams,working,all this expectation really weights me down......:(